Last night, I attended a farewell BBQ for a friend, who is headed off to graduate school in the States.   Over 60 people were in attendance,  a number of whom I have known since my university days, and some whom I hadn’t seen in almost a decade.

It was surreal to watch life come full circle.  We were kids, some of us, when we met, and now I have lost track of the babies, pregnancies and engagements.  I felt a bit as though I was stuck in a time warp, watching life pass me by.  And that somehow I did not belong.

I know each of our lives take different paths, but I could not have imagined how different.  Sitting there, listening to friends talk about O.B. appointments, and pregnancies, etc.  I had nothing to contribute.  So I listened.  And then when I got tired of the conversation, I simply made a surreptitious exit.  It wasn’t my world, might never be my world.

I no longer belong.  I like playing with their kids, but they aren’t my kids. It’s not the same.  I’m on the outside, looking in.

 

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