Last night, I attended a farewell BBQ for a friend, who is headed off to graduate school in the States. Over 60 people were in attendance, a number of whom I have known since my university days, and some whom I hadn’t seen in almost a decade.
It was surreal to watch life come full circle. We were kids, some of us, when we met, and now I have lost track of the babies, pregnancies and engagements. I felt a bit as though I was stuck in a time warp, watching life pass me by. And that somehow I did not belong.
I know each of our lives take different paths, but I could not have imagined how different. Sitting there, listening to friends talk about O.B. appointments, and pregnancies, etc. I had nothing to contribute. So I listened. And then when I got tired of the conversation, I simply made a surreptitious exit. It wasn’t my world, might never be my world.
I no longer belong. I like playing with their kids, but they aren’t my kids. It’s not the same. I’m on the outside, looking in.