January musings

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I woke up early this morning (early for me as in before 6 am), and lay awake, thinking, tossing and turning.  My body, sweetly aching, from consecutive days of multiple runs and yoga.
Since I was up, I decided to catch the sunrise.  Bundled up, in the chilly morning hours, it was a short walk  to the beach. I love first light.  In the pre – dawn, hours, there were scant dog walkers, runners. Otherwise, it was deserted.  I love the quiet, the peace. It always feels like those hours before sunrise, those precious stolen minutes before the day really begins, are a gift.
I stood there,  in the silence, ruminating on what I wanted for this year.  In a yoga class I recently attended, the instructor asked us  “what needs to change for you this year?  Don’t let the year go by on autopilot.”  Normally, I don’t pay much attention to speeches in yoga class, preferring to focus on the workout, on how to ground myself, and to find that fine balance between pushing myself and injuring myself.  But her words resonated with me.
I thought about how to move forward, how to move in the direction I needed.  I thought of how fear holds us back. I thought about how my vision or expectations of how things should be may never come to fruition. Life seldom unfolds according to our timing, but if we open our eyes, life can surprise us.  And I learned how as we live life, sometimes on mountain tops and sometimes in a valley, sometimes on a plateau, and sometimes, dancing on the edges of broken, that there is always a way forward.
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